Auditory Hallucinations (Kill Me Heal Me OST, Jang Jae In ft. NaShow), here I post again on the occasion of Chester Bennington’s suicide, is a special and powerful song with its disturbing and eventually obsessing lyrics and tunes and raps.
The song, at its core, presents a world of darkness that a normal-functioning person wouldn’t want to experience. However, one would fall into such a world if he goes through enough pain and desperation. People couldn’t never imagine how it is if they haven’t been put through such situation. That world is so scary and dark and as deep as the ocean.
The song gives me nostalgia because it reminds me of a past chapter in my life where I entered that world, the dark imagination side of my mind, living in it with hallucinations. You never knew.
What happens when a person got caught up in a world made of his unreal thoughts? One may be unaware, or let go (which means to be mental, literally), but one with a still-functional-even-just-a-little conscious mind would know deep down that there’s something wrong with the world he sees, feels, and currently lives in. He would feel conflicted, thus he would struggle to find ways to get out of that state of confliction. It would become a battle with his own mind, and that would be the toughest battle that he ever faces. It would take luck and courage of him to comprehend what’s actually going on, take the bull by the horns and destroy his mind trap.
For Bennington, he chose to escape by taking drugs, alcohol, and eventually his own life. So sad. 😦
For me, I successfully and fortunately got out of it because I was honest with myself, I got help from others and got healed. 🙂
Since then, I never again dare to judge a person when I see him or her take irrational choices out of fear and weakness. I don’t know what he or she is fighting with. At that very moment, I just know that person needs help.